Do Penis Enlargement Products work?

Here’s what’s happening… I keep getting these e-mails for years with penis enlargement products (I’m sure you’re getting them as well) and they’ve evolved over the years, masking the products’ names with weird characters (ex: viagra=v|@gra) and so on.

Anyway, this is probably the ultimate penis-related SPAM I’ve got: THE LENGTH OF ANACONDA IN YOUR PANTS!!

I laughed hysterically. Who the f*** wants a huge penis, similar to an anaconda?? Do I really want it to be able to swallow a whole bull? Do I need to rip every woman’s vagina? Wait… if I would be able to get that far without her noticing the monster in my pants.

Listen to this: “ Now you don’t have to cover your little friend with a shame.“First of all I’m not hiding; secondly, my little friend is not that little and I would definitely cover it not with only A shame, but multiple shames to be sure it won’t catch a cold.

Let’s get serious… Here is the e-mail I got and that I actually opened:

“subject: The length of anaconda in your pants.

message: Be “blessed” with Penis Enlarge Patch.
CHECK NOW
Now you don’t have to cover your little friend with a shame.”

This cold weather makes me think about how much I miss the summer… same thing happens during the summer - I think about the beautiful skiing slopes covered up in powder. Anyway, to get to the point… last summer we’ve camped with most of our friends 50 feet away from the beach.

The first night was one of the best nights I’ve ever had with my girlfriend. Not only that I’ve never seen her so turned on, but I got the best response from her. The harder she squeezed her finger nails into my back, the harder I thrust.

What you need
A nice tent is a must… It doesn’t have to be huge, but it better smell good. Most tents smell horribly because people wrap them as soon as they’re done and don’t let air pass through.
Accessories are optional, but try to keep them clean. Usually, tent sex is a bit dirty and sex toys can easily get dirty. Avoid as much as possible playing with toys if you didn’t take care of them or checked them first.
Get some lube if you’re planning for a quickie. I’m always saying this: lube can be a bless if you’re a bit in a hurry.
Insect killing spray might come in handy - use it before getting inside. Let it take action for a few minutes, then freshen up the air inside the tent.
Condoms (or your usual contraceptive method in case you’re not planning on becoming parents) and a few tissues (I’m sure she has some) that you can use to clean up and wrap the condom(s) in.
Water (soda, beer, whatever…), snacks and cigarettes in case you don’t want to get out of the tent again…