Do Penis Enlargement Products work?

Not inches or cm, but degrees… Imagine what this girl can do if she is so stretchy… I can think of a thing or two…

I, being the nice guy I am, give all my girlfriends the options of
A: Swallow.
B: I shoot it on your face.
C: I shoot it on your tits.
D: I shoot it in your hair.
E: I shoot it on your neck.

I’ve been getting a lot of A’s and C’s lately for some reason.

He really is a nice guy… I also am as nice as he is and, let me tell you, my friend, I’ve been getting a lot of A’s and C’s. Mainly from my girl, I’ll be honest, but plenty of B’s whenever she kneels and I stand. She knows how to get crazy when I’m coming.

And it’s true sperm is good for your skin - I see lots of improvement on my girl’s face. She had these cute thin wrinkles around her eyes, which lately disappeared. I guess I’m doing a great job maintaining a young appearance on her face.

“Have you ever felt a kiss of a womb? With your new big rod you’ll feel it!

Just imagine, that your pen!s suddenly becomes longer and thicker and makes women tremble with desire! It’s fabulous!“

I got this message in my yahoo inbox today and I’m really stunned that penis pills companies will go so low to sell their products that they will approach this method in order to get some customers. But imagine that: kiss of a womb…

Allow me to be very explicit: a woman’s vagina is 4 inches deep, but it expands when aroused and gets up to 6-7 inches deep. The average man’s penis length is about 6 inches, but lengths vary between 5.9-7 inches.

If my math is still correct, the average man could easily get “a kiss of a womb”. I have achieved very deep penetration and felt I’ve reached the end, but in certain positions and, trust me, you don’t want that. It’s really uncomfortable for them and they’ll stop you as soon as you reach it because it hurts.

Here’s a very nice picture of “the womb“:
picture source: http://a7.vox.com

The story of Mozart, the iguana that had to undergo surgery because of a permanent erection that impaired his ability to move has been updated… After they tried everything possible to save the penis (cold water, female iguanas), veterinarians decided it was best for Mozart to be released of this discomfort.

However, a few months after the procedure he enjoys a normal and healthy sex life with his mates, as iguanas have 2 penises. Mozart is able to perform sexually as good as he did before the procedure. We all wish him the best of luck in mating with his
female iguanas friends:

picture source: greenigsociety.org

An interesting way of promoting products… by placing messages that are determined subconsciously by people in order to determine them to desire or feel certain needs. The following pictures is a subliminal advert for Coke, which associates their product with blow jobs.

“Buy a Coke… a blow job is imminent!”

I wrote early in November about the driving instructor who made indecent proposals to his female students and he was supposed to be sentenced December 7th. Well… according to infowolf.us he was sentenced to 18 months in jail for the “pranks” he pulled.

The story is that while with his female driving students he would place a 12 inch carrot in his trousers and say things like: “That manoeuvre was so good it gave me a boner…” He then took his 40 years old pupil’s hand and placed it on his groin before showing her it was really a carrot.

Whatever was in his trousers, carrot or foe, he admitted it to be “unprofessional, stupid, and I regret doing it“. Undeniable evidence are the naked photos in his glove compartment police found the day they arrested him for sexual harassment.

Have fun having sex in public, but with your sex partner if she/he agrees. Make sure you don’t get caught by the police; getting spotted by pedestrians is one thing, but turning it into a nightmare and embarrassment for your girlfriend is another thing. Not to mention NOT TRYING IT on your colleagues, pupils, neighbors, etc. Save yourself from the embarrassment and JAIL.

Here’s a very interesting sexual theme park in Korea… an quite explicit I might add:

pictures source: geekarmy.com

My brain can’t simply process and come up with a single reason for being a sadist… I don’t understand how you could make that fragile girl hurt and be excited by that.

Moreover, how on Earth could you be a masochist? I think I’d smack her fuckin’ teeth out if she’d try anything S&M on me. I think I can cure any masochist of this freak pleasure of getting your ass kicked by a skinny tramp in leather outfit. I think I would get satisfaction out of that - smacking and kicking them until they say they’re cured and won’t step into an S&M whore house again.

Next time you want to hurt a woman like that, give me a call or pick on someone your own size. Have you seen Pulp Fiction? I really love that scene where Marcellus makes those freaks suffer for what they did to him - he really got medieval on their asses…

By the by… let me show you the worse video I’ve ever seen… I won’t embed it into my nice, clean site, but i’ll direct you to it through a link: http://2girls1cup.com/

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I was wondering… about sex, of course… would you be able to do the threesome? To go all the way with it? I’ll open a poll about this because I might not be so uninhibited as I thought.

I stumbled this menage a trois post in a blog and it seems to be the only thing I keep thinking about. I don’t think I could go through with it… and I’ve done some weird shit: I’ve had sex in the park, in the elevator, on the balcony where all our neighbors could have seen us or on the roof of our building.

I was always a bit scared not to get caught, but that’s part of the thrill. This threesome thing, on the other hand, is completely different: you are caught and you’re fucking her. It’s like having sex in the park, you get caught by a woman and she joins you.

I don’t even want to go into the other possibility where another man comes along because I think I’ll end up beating him to death with his own shoe as soon as he would touch my girlfriend’s hand to shake hands. Good, so we’ve settled this possibility…